“Not working” is cool until you feel doubt creep in about the inner work you’ve done suddenly not being valued.

I name these fears knowing full well how priceless it is to be able to literally afford the space to navigate those, and many other contradictions that I possess as a whole being.

Meeting my vecinxs as an adult reminded me the ways in which exchanges are made across people like my father experienced. The relationship between the music and the people that are moved by it. But then that made me think about that same exchange across intimate relationships. 

Somewhere in this space in time it's become clear to me that my people are DIY-ing to survive but also my people are also dying.