Time

“This too shall pass. We need lows to appreciate highs. The lows also show us parts of ourselves that no make-up, credentials, or curated social media profiles can conceal. Face them. Embrace them. Love on them. Time heals all things.” - Griselda Rodriguez

I hate not being able to see things coming. I know that this is such a silly thing, but as I’ve been focusing on my will power and intuition, I was thrown a rasteira. A rasteira is a sweeping movement in capoeira where you pull someone’s legs right out from underneath in response to a kick. I’ve always appreciated that move because it can take a lot to pull someone in this manner, but once it’s done to you - you immediately learn how to fall in a way that allows you to stay in the game.

A conversation I didn’t anticipate messed me up. I use the word conversation lightly. I’ve been through worse, but my ego took a hit. But as the rest of 2017 eased in, I was reminded of the challenges that I had put forth to myself. One of them was that I would love wholeheartedly. And I have. However, since 2017 is a year 1 in numerology, I needed some things to end to clear the way for new beginnings. It’s Kali season and no one is immune to her power. No one. 

A rasteira that was a swift fall that forced me to defend myself. To remind how to land without harming myself on the way down. To actually fall and take in the scenery while I’m there. To be the Hangman of my own design and allow for a new perspective to emerge since I missed the signs that were plastered throughout my temple. To be reminded of the intention that I should not start anything that I cannot finish.

So that I can remember and rediscover how to worship my own temple. To craft my prayers to my ancestors and to myself. To be prepared to go to war for what I believe in and what I deserve. To realize that everyone isn’t battle ready quite yet. Myself included. 

“This goddess carries a sword of knowledge along with a severed head that symbolizes the ego. These depictions express Kali’s ability to slice through delusions so that we are freed from society’s limitations and conditioning, and they also release us from anything that we have been blindly bound and tethered to. Kali opens our eyes so that we see our situations with clarity.” – Alex Myles

I’m working on fully surrendering to the fact I cannot see everything coming. I am a reflection on the Divine, but I can’t always interpret the reflection the right way. That's the beauty that comes from the rasteira, from Kali and Oya clearing everything and and any thing that no longer serves my purpose. I wrote the following words six months ago and as 2017 begins, they gave me a whole other perspective. Even though the people in our lives are mirrors and can reflect back a lot, not every image we see reflected back is genuine. This is the scary part about the phrase "watch the company you keep." That sometimes the projections folks show us is an illusion. Sometimes it's out of malice, but often it's because they don't want us to see their true selves, especially when they can't recognize who that person is. On the flip side, it's a challenge to let go of the idea of a person, especially folks we love and wish the best for. 

If stability is a process of change, then let the winds blow. Let the Earth within me weigh me down just enough so that I can be grounded.  To sit back and watch the lightning strikes. To grow and shed old skins like a snake so I can arrive at the next version of myself.  See y'all on the flip side.